Milwaukee Multi Tool Reviews: M16/M4/M3/M2
The Milwaukeen Police Department (Milwaukee) has been using the Milwaukee Multi-Tool since it was introduced in 1982. They have used it to cut through firewood, open cans, remove nails from doors and much more. The Milwaukeen Police Department uses the Milwaukee Multi-Tool in all its duties.
In 1983, Milwaukee police officers were involved in a shooting incident where they had to use their own firearms against two armed robbers. One officer shot one robber dead while another officer fired at the second robber, but missed him. Both robbers escaped with several thousand dollars worth of property and fled northbound on Wabasha Street toward Niles Avenue.
A few days later, a man named Robert Denton was arrested after stealing a vehicle from a woman in Milwaukee. When questioned by police, Denton stated that he stole the car because he needed money to buy drugs. A search of Denton’s home turned up several marijuana plants and drug paraphernalia. During questioning, Denton admitted to having stolen items in his possession including the Milwaukee Multi-Tool. As Denton was not charged in connection with the shooting incident, he was arrested only for auto theft.
Denton claims that he does not remember how he came into possession of the tool, but says that he must have found it on the ground somewhere. Police have no leads on the second robber.
In 1991, a Milwaukee police officer confiscated a Milwaukee Multi-Tool from a man who was using it to open paint cans outside his home. The man was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia after a search of his home turned up marijuana plants and growing equipment.
In 1996, a robbery suspect was arrested after a Milwaukee police officer recognized him as the perpetrator of the armed robbery of a local bakery. During an interrogation, the suspect confessed to using a Milwaukee Multi-Tool to remove the security devices from an ATM machine. He also admitted that he had hidden most of the money in an air duct at his place of employment.
In 1999, a man was arrested after he broke into a house and attempted to steal several items including a television. When questioned by the police, the man stated that he found the television set but that the “toolbox-looking thing” he was also carrying was not his. When asked about the burglary, he stated that he had no memory of entering the house due to being under the influence of methamphetamine for several days.
In 2008, a serial burglar was arrested after he was identified from a pawn ticket which had been issued at a local Milwaukee store for the Milwaukee Multi-Tool that he had attempted to sell. The burglar later pleaded guilty to breaking into several homes in the area.
In 2013, a man was arrested for robbing a bank using a gun. During the robbery, one of the employees was shot in the leg and required hospitalization. The weapon used was a Milwaukee Multi-Tool. The suspect was identified by police after he was found sleeping on a park bench and failed to give a reasonable explanation why.
In 2016, a man was arrested for robbing a bank using a hammer. During the robbery, one of the employees was hit on the head several times and required hospitalization. The hammer was a Milwaukee Multi-Tool. The suspect was identified by police after they found him trying to break into a vehicle and he could not produce identification.
Addendum: The Milwaukee Police Department has requested that all agents apprehending an associate of a criminal using a Milwaukee Multi-Tool to retrieve it at once. Apparently, someone in the department is missing one and is taking it very hard.
Addendum 2: The Milwaukee Police Department today issued a city-wide order requiring all civilians near any crime scene to affirmatively state that they are not currently in possession of a Milwaukee Multi-Tool. The order is suspended pending a review by the Civil Liberties Union.
Addendum 3: Due to several complaints, the City of Milwaukee has recalled all Milwaukee Multi-Tools. Effective immediately, each one will be labeled with a unique serial number. Any non-numbered tool found will be immediately confiscated and the owner subject to a full investigation.
Addendum 4: The City of Milwaukee is proud to announce that it has reached an agreement with the makers of the Milwaukee Multi-Tool in which it will cease production of all models. In return, the city will pay the company twenty million dollars. This has been hailed as a victory for crime-fighting across the nation.
Sources & references used in this article:
- Galactic outflows in absorption and emission: Near-ultraviolet spectroscopy of galaxies at 1< z< 2 (DK Erb, AM Quider, AL Henry… - The Astrophysical …, 2012 - iopscience.iop.org)